210,855 notes
  

yes-i-am-lucifer:

You just know nobody is reblogging this for the dog




8,474 notes
  

gifyourass:

This show is gold




241,994 notes
  

apricockjam:

I’m very strong, I could fight off maybe 20 snails, 21 on a good day




135,882 notes
  

theyreoutofcontrol:

Interviewer: “so where do you see yourself in five years?”
Me: “I’m shaking hands with Dumbledore I’ve won the house cup”




78,198 notes
  

thickneyspears:

When your parents call you by your full name

image




420,419 notes
  
d0nn0:

d0nn0:

SOMEONE HELP I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY BECAUSE IM NOT LUKE AND IM SCARED FOR JAKE’S SAFETY

This got 32k and the guy was in the bathtub the whole time trippin on lsd

d0nn0:

d0nn0:

SOMEONE HELP I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY BECAUSE IM NOT LUKE AND IM SCARED FOR JAKE’S SAFETY

This got 32k and the guy was in the bathtub the whole time trippin on lsd




274,438 notes
  

sleepingnoone:

when u have a thing to tell friend but friend dont care

image




51,933 notes
  

clraft:

how am i supposed to forget you when every time i go outside i see things that remind me of you

like:

  • garbage cans
  • dog shit
  • asshole people
  • those babies that you want to punch in the face because they wont stop crying no matter what



121,716 notes
  

rl-y:

i laughed so hard at this




322,068 notes
  

katbot:

Professor: Your essay must be 3,000 - 6,000 words

Me: image




147,479 notes
  

dietchola:

i’m terrified of lady bugs because when i was 10 my bathroom got infested by them and they laid eggs in my shower but i didn’t know that so when i went to take a shower one time i turned on the water and thousands of lady bugs came flying out of the drain and i sat in the bathtub and i cried




536,727 notes
  

pauladeenandporn:

when I first tweeted these I had to try to hide them from my two psychologist parents but then they got so big that my neighbor told them about it and so they sat me down to ask if I needed help.




975,259 notes
  

spikespiegell:

do ya ever bring your pet up to a mirror and ur like “that you”




63,106 notes
  

riseabovedefeat:

back when disney channel actually taught real life morals and did a good job of it




191,901 notes
  
lauriejuspeczyk:

im lAUGHING SO HARD BECAUSE LOOK AT HOW HARD MARIO IS TRYING TO STEAL THE SPOTLIGHT IN THE BACK

lauriejuspeczyk:

im lAUGHING SO HARD BECAUSE LOOK AT HOW HARD MARIO IS TRYING TO STEAL THE SPOTLIGHT IN THE BACK